


Love Is The Tuesdays

by FiresFromOurHearts



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Gen, Happy Ending, Have fun with that knowledge, Healthy Relationships, Love, Love Confessions, Platonic Love, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, This might hurt but I can promise the ending is a happy one, You don't get happiness and fluff until you get some angst first, healthy relationships for the win
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28971510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiresFromOurHearts/pseuds/FiresFromOurHearts
Summary: Hikaku and Izuna are soulmates, they get a lot wrong. They also get a few things right too.A love story about choices, about hurting, and, of course, about loving.
Relationships: Uchiha Hikaku & Uchiha Clan, Uchiha Hikaku & Uchiha Izuna, Uchiha Hikaku & Uchiha Madara, Uchiha Izuna & Uchiha Madara
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	Love Is The Tuesdays

**Author's Note:**

> After days of searching, I finally picked the title from Tuesdays by Jake Scott, largely relating to this bit of the lyrics:
>
>> It's not just picture perfect dancing in a white dress  
> It's not just rainy days where nothing stops the fighting  
> It's not just highs and lows and champagne toasts  
> I've come to know that love's not only  
> The best days or the worst days  
> Love is the Tuesdays  
> Yeah, love is the Tuesdays

There are legends of soulmates. Soulmates who fight on opposite sides of the battlefield, who came together in the throes of passion and found enough love that they abandoned the battlefield. Despite what it sounds like, it’s a cautionary tale. The story ends with their clans coming for them, killing them, in response for their cowardly actions. It is one of the most well-known legends. Many soulmate stories go like this. There are usually three types of legends that soulmate stories follow. There are those that speak of soulmates torn apart by war, abandoning their clans for the promise of what could be, and killed for their disgrace. Then there are the stories where soulmates fight together and are legendary for their teamwork, shaped by their close souls. And then there is the final narrative—soulmates who hate each other, deeply and furiously, and only one survives whilst the other dies.

Of course, there are the same stories involving non-soulmates too. Soulmates are nothing special, only flaunted because no one quite understands how it works. In the end, the only interesting thing about soulmates are their appearances. Tattooed on a person’s skin are the lies their soulmate tells themself. Only the soulmates could read the tattoos, anyone else would see illegible writings and not be able to make it out.

In the end, soulmates are civilian things rather than ninja concepts. Why should it matter to them? If they are lucky, soulmates will meet and be in the same clan, but there are few happy stories for soulmates. That is, of course, not to say people don’t get their happy endings—or as happy as it gets in an era of war. Soulmates are not the end of the world or one’s saviour; it’s like every other relationship. It’s a choice and you work for it.

Still, some stereotypes become popular. The idea that the plainer your skin is, the better person your soulmate is is one of the more prevalent stereotypes.

In the Uchiha Clan, the person who has the plainest skin is Izuna, the second Clan Heir. As far as anyone knows, there’s not a single tattooed lie on his body. If anyone were to ask, Izuna would say the same thing. Except that’s not the truth.

Only Izuna and his brother know the truth. There are three lies tattooed on Izuna’s body, though he keeps the words to himself. The smallest lie is the second that appeared on his skin and it says ‘It’ll be fine’ and had made Izuna laugh. He knows better to jinx himself by saying such things. The lie he’d received last reads ‘They’re going to live’. Izuna had taken it to mean that his soulmate was a ninja like him. The last lie, the first one he got and the biggest, simply says ‘I’m worth…’. It got bigger every so often, the characters darkening. Izuna assumes that this is because his soulmate repeats the phrase to themself often.

Which… It makes Izuna’s heart _ache_. The only lies that appear on his skin are the ones that his soulmate believes to be lies. He wants to reach out to his soulmate, trap them in his arms, and tell them that they are worthy, that they are loved, that he wants them.

But his soulmate could be an enemy-nin and Izuna will always put the clan first. Even if he does come to love his soulmate, the clan will come first. It has to. He won’t be like those who abandon their clan and he won’t ever weaken them by not fighting his best either.

If he comes across his soulmate on the battlefield, Izuna will do his duty no matter what. After all, he’s a ninja of the Uchiha Clan. And, when his father dies and his brother becomes Clan Head, Izuna steps into his duties as Clan Heir, leaving thoughts of soulmates to the minutes before he sleeps and the minutes after he wakes up. There’s no time for unimportant things, not when the clan is fighting a war and Izuna has to keep his brother alive and sane and help lead the clan.

But even with Izuna and Madara stepping up after Tajima’s death, there’s still a power vacuum in the clan—from Izuna’s old position as third in command. It’s this gap that Uchiha Hikaku steps into. Izuna doesn’t meet him straight away, too busy organising half-a-dozen things. Rather, it’s Madara who learns of him when Hikaku reports battlefield statistics and organises various unimportant jobs that would ordinarily wait until the next day.

“He was very helpful,” Madara tells Izuna over dinner. “I’m not sure what he’s been doing before or where he’s been, but he made everything run smoothly. I thought I’d end up behind on the mission roster for the next few days, but I think I can tackle it tomorrow morning. I said he could talk to you about helping you as well.”

“I hope you didn’t force him into helping out, Nii-sama,” Izuna replies. “He might not need more work. What did you say his name was again?”

“I wouldn’t do that!” Madara immediately protests. “He offered—and his name’s Hikaku. He’s apparently been doing some of the background organising as a battlefield leader for a bit, though he’s only in charge of a small squadron. It has one of the best survival rates though. Pity about his skin.”

Izuna raises an eyebrow. “His skin?” He echoes.

“Yeah. He’s absolutely covered in soulmate-lies. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more covered. He’s even got some on his face, the poor bastard. Won’t be very good for infiltration missions.”

Few ninjas are covered in so many soulmate-lies that they’re limited to specific mission types. Izuna’s only heard of it happening once before. “Shit,” Izuna says. “That must suck. Is he any good at fighting or is he a leader from the back?”

“I spoke to some of his squadron and they say he’s a good fighter. Tries to avoid leaving anyone behind if possible, but he’s also kind of a loner too. He’s friendly with everyone but not necessarily friends with anyone. Most of his family died when he was young so he grew up in group care, so largely helped out where he could.”

It’s not an uncommon story, but still. “Tough break,” Izuna says. It’s unfortunate. Such stories always are, but they can’t do anything to help. Just win the war and stop the fighting. “So long as he doesn’t overwork himself, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Did you check his past missions?”

Madara nods. “A few fails or ones where he decided it was better not to test his skills against hired enemy ninjas—once with a group of Uchihas on their first mission. But otherwise, he’s completed a number of missions successfully across multiple countries and has done well for the clan. I’m somewhat surprised we didn’t meet him earlier.”

“Probably because he’s not friends with anyone,” Izuna says, only somewhat harshly. It’s true though. Unless they’re fighting, Izuna and Madara only meet Uchihas they don’t already know during the celebrations when everyone’s out with their friends and family. If Hikaku sticks to himself, they probably wouldn’t have crossed paths. “Do I need to organise a meeting with him or did you get around to doing that for me?”

“I asked him to come in tomorrow,” Madara answers. “I figured we could actually go through what tasks we’ll need him to do and what we’ll cover ourselves.” Izuna catches Madara’s eyes flickering towards the window. In that direction, he knows, the Uchiha Graveyard stands. “Make sure we’ve got everything covered.”

“I’m sure we do,” Izuna says knowing how his brother worries that they aren’t doing the best they can be for the clan. “It’s been a few months and I’m sure someone would have come forward if we were doing poorly, especially early on. But we’ve been preparing for this too. We’d already picked up tasks. Trust me, Nii-sama. Or, better yet, trust the clan. They trust us. That trust isn’t misplaced, and Hikaku-san wouldn’t have come forward if he didn’t trust us to lead well.”

Madara smiles, a soft thing that never fails to make Izuna grin back in response. “You’re right,” he says.

“I always am,” he chirps back, which leads to Madara lunging across at him and, yet again, another broken teapot. But the night ends in laughter, which is the best kind of night they could have.

* * *

It’s almost midday when there’s a quiet knock on the door. Izuna is the one to go out and see who it is as Madara is scowling at his paperwork and _not_ lighting it on fire, which is really all Izuna can hope for.

The shinobi outside their house looks awkward standing there. He might be a little taller than Izuna, but with how he slouches, it’s difficult to tell. For a heartbeat, Izuna thinks that the shinobi is trying to make himself look smaller, which is absurd really. Other than that, he notices how the other’s hair leans towards more brown than black, marking him as one of the few outliers of the clan.

However, the most obvious thing about him is his skin. He’s almost entirely covered in dark tattoos, even ones across his face and trailing over his jawline and down his neck. This must be Hikaku. Izuna can’t help but stare. So many of the characters have thick, dark lines; clearly repeated lies. There’s one beneath his left eye that’s too small for Izuna to make out. Meanwhile, one slants across his right eye, even across the eyelid, in bold characters. In between everything, there are flashes of pale skin but…

It’s unnerving, to say the least. There’s so much to look at and Izuna doesn’t know where to start, singular characters leaping out at him and making no sense.

“Hikaku-san, right?” Izuna says, smiling even though his heart doesn’t feel like it for some reason. “I’m Izuna!”

Almost immediately, Hikaku bows, and Izuna sees a lie on the back of his neck as his ponytail swings. “It’s an honour to meet you, Izuna-sama.” He rises, smooth and graceful and it’s clear he’s a ninja. “Did Madara-sama warn you I was coming?”

“He did,” Izuna confirms. “Come inside, please. Nii-sama’s just battling some paperwork but he did want to meet with you as well. We thought we could discuss the division of tasks and your expectations as third-in-command?”

“I- Third-in-command? Madara-sama didn’t mention that.”

Izuna shrugs, slipping sideways and letting Hikaku enter. “He might’ve thought it was obvious. After all, you’ve clearly been stepping up for a while.”

Glancing at Hikaku from the corner of his eye, Izuna watches as the other dips his head, hiding behind his hair slightly. “It’s very kind of him,” the other says softly.

It’s such a strange personality that Hikaku has. The reports say that he’s friendly and yet, here he just seems demure and submissive. Nothing like a squadron leader who’s got one of the highest survival rates for his squadron. Then again, maybe it’s because he’s not certain what to make of Izuna.

“From the sounds of it, you deserve the position, Hikaku-san.” Izuna glances at the other again, manages to read a lie across his cheek saying ‘I can save her’, before he looks away. It’s an understandable lie and one Izuna’s told himself countless times before.

Izuna’s brain suddenly clicks and he spins around abruptly, forgetting his task in his haste. Hikaku stops immediately, weight shifting to something more battle-ready. “You!”

With wide eyes and looking somewhat uneasy, Hikaku says, “Me.” Then, after a pause, he says, “Would you like to me leave, Izuna-sama?”

“No!” Hikaku flinches and Izuna drags his voice down to a level other than shouting. “No. Please don’t leave. I’ve wanted to meet you for the longest time.” And… And Izuna can hardly believe his luck. He’s been blessed with a soulmate who’s from his clan and also one of their strongest members!

It’s the same soulmate that Izuna’s wanted to wrap in blankets and hugs and love and tell him that _he’s worthy_. It’s… the same soulmate that Izuna has covered in lies and blackened his skin until he’s more soulmate-lies than plain skin.

“Unless… Unless you want to go?” Izuna says because he could understand that. He’s the Clan Heir and an important figure. There’s a target on his back and sometimes people don’t want to connect with their soulmates. Izuna couldn’t understand making that choice, but if Hikaku wants to go, Izuna will let him.

“I would like to stay, Izuna-sama, if you do not mind.”

How could Izuna mind? He’s finally met his soulmate! He wants to shout it from the rooftops! He wants to tell the sun. He wants to sit with Hikaku for hours and learn every little thing about him. “I don’t mind,” he tells Hikaku. “I would like to get to know you.”

Hikaku’s gaze drops to the floor and then back up. This time there’s something like steel in his eyes and he raises his chin. “I would like that,” he says finally showing a hint of the ninja he’s rumoured to be. Izuna grins. He can’t help it; joy and excitement filling him. He’s finally going to learn about his soulmate, has finally met him. Despite all the stories, the unhappy endings and the deaths, Izuna can’t help but have hope that this will be _good_.

He hopes, hopes deeply and with all the hope he could possibly have, that this will end up alright.

* * *

For a few weeks, the only time Izuna sees Hikaku, his _soulmate_ , is when they’re doing their various tasks. Hikaku doesn’t come over, keeps his distance, and Izuna doesn’t know how to bridge it. His brother clearly knows something is up, but doesn’t press it in a strange fit of emotional understanding. Instead, he’s perhaps softer and gentler around Hikaku than he might ordinarily be, and it makes Izuna glad to see them get along.

That’s not to say that Madara doesn’t try to help in his own subtle way—which is why Izuna ends up on a mission with Hikaku. Well, Izuna allows, it might not have been thanks to his brother, but it’s most likely that Madara is responsible for it.

So Izuna and Hikaku find themselves preparing to steal a prized set of jewels from a major crime lord in Cha no Kuni who’s been boasting about it to anyone who’d listen. There are almost no guards or anything, just two mercenaries. Only one looks really dangerous with a large sword sheathed on her back. She stands like a samurai but even samurai fall against ninjas.

“Do you want to distract them or do you want me to?” Izuna whispers to Hikaku after they’ve scouted out the building and located various exits.

Hikaku glances at him and Izuna reads amusement in the set of his face. Despite the fact they’re in the middle of a mission and Izuna should really be focussing, he can’t help but be pleased that Hikaku’s being so open and that he can read the other.

“How about I sneak in and there’s no distraction?” Hikaku offers, dragging Izuna’s attention back to the war in question. “This way we can avoid raising the alarm.”

“Sounds boring,” Izuna says, even as he shuffles back so that Hikaku can get a better look at the window that’s the best entry point. “But go ahead I guess.”

“Be back in a flash,” Hikaku says, before he slips away, edges blurring as he moves that little bit faster. To Izuna’s naked eye, it’s hard to tell where he ends and the shadows surrounding him begin, but it’s easier with the Sharingan. Hikaku is fast, not as fast as Izuna or his brother, but still quick enough that Izuna can imagine he’d be good in a fight.

Hikaku carefully lifts the window after using a kunai to unlatch it. Partially focussing on him, Izuna does a sweep of the nearby surroundings and spots nothing unusual even with his Sharingan. He’s not bad enough of a ninja to hold his breath while he waits for Hikaku, but the vague idea is there. Instead, he breathes out slowly and counts his heartbeats as he watches.

The room is empty and Izuna knows that the two mercenaries are outside the room guarding the room. If they do decide to come in, Izuna can be there before they even open the door fully and Hikaku can definitely stand up to two mercenaries. However, that doesn’t make the waiting any easier.

He watches as Hikaku glides across the room, keeping to the walls where possible, before carefully taking the jewellery off the display—and really, Izuna will never understand civilians, because that is an _awful_ way to keep things from being stolen. Then Hikaku is out of the room and back up by Izuna’s side in seconds.

“Huh, looks like it was a pretty easy mission,” Izuna says like a _dumbass_ who knows perfectly well how jinxes work. This is, of course, the moment they’re attacked by a party of four ninjas and lose all secrecy, gaining everyone’s attention immediately. Between Izuna and Hikaku, the fight’s over in seconds, but they’ve now raised the alarm and it’s highly likely that they’ll have everyone after for them in seconds, especially if it’s figured out what they’re carrying. They don’t bother waiting around to see who’s next coming after them. Instead, they head off quickly.

At first, they run quietly and try to keep their heads down and go unnoticed. The second time they have a patrol stumble across them, Izuna decides to light everything around them on fire. “They probably have a sensor,” Izuna says defensively when Hikaku turns to look at him, one eyebrow raised. “There’s no point trying to stay under the radar when the radar is clearly better than us.”

For the first time since Izuna’s met him, Hikaku rolls his eyes, face crinkling as he smiles. “Sure,” he says, voice laced with sarcasm. “Because you’re definitely not a pyromaniac.”

“We’re from the Uchiha Clan,” Izuna says, faking outrage. “How can you _not_ be a pyromaniac!”

“How could you use such a basic jutsu?” Hikaku returns just before he takes off, forcing Izuna to leap after him.

“Hey! What- Basic?”

Izuna’s spluttering makes Hikaku laugh and the other grins, eyes alight. “You want to see a proper fire ninjutsu?” He says and he looks happy, looks fierce, and it’s so different from the cautious, soft-spoken person that Izuna’s been dealing with. “The next time we come across enemies—just wait like half a minute and I’ll show you a proper fire ninjutsu.”

“I’m expecting it to be magnificent,” Izuna says. “But wait, can we go back to the whole basic thing? The fireball is a _traditional_ jutsu that every Uchiha learns! It’s versatile and can be used in heaps of situations and for a number of different things. It’s far from basic!”

“Basic,” Hikaku repeats, grinning at Izuna’s shriek of outrage.

Thankfully, Izuna doesn’t have to wait long before Hikaku gets his chance to show off. A group of six ninjas attacks them this time, wearing similar clothes to the last group so Izuna’s fairly certain that it’s a clan of some kind attacking them. He drops back a step just as Hikaku speeds through a long set of hand seals. Hikaku’s chakra swells, growing, and Izuna watches as Hikaku breathes out slowly. A tendril of fire exits his mouth and spins, circling, and growing in height and width and-

“Is that a dragon?” Izuna asks, flabbergasted. He’s heard of the jutsu before, knows it to be one of the Uchiha Clans most difficult fire ninjutsu that was stolen from another clan, but he’s never met anyone who’s performed it.

He watches in awe as the dragon dances through the clearing, snaking around their enemies and setting them alight, keeping its coils tight so that the enemy can’t escape. It’s deadly and horrific and probably one of the best fire ninjutsus that Izuna’s ever seen.

“ _That’s_ a proper fire ninjutsu,” Hikaku says smugly when their enemies are all dead and the fire dragon has died out. Izuna knocks shoulders with Hikaku and the other rocks with the movement, before returning the bump lightly. “What do you have to say?”

“I’ll admit it’s impressive,” Izuna says. “But I’m standing by my argument that the fireball jutsu is not a basic jutsu.”

Hikaku simply hums, a smile playing on his lips. “I’ll win you over,” he says, and Izuna glances at him; at his soulmate-lies that cover almost all of his skin; at the looseness of his body; at the openness of his expression.

“You can try,” he says daringly and is pleased to watch Hikaku grin in return. This is just the start of it, he’s sure, but he feels like from here it can only be better. It feels like he actually now has one foot in the door and Hikaku’s willing to talk with him and to him, rather than being quiet and soft-spoken and not seeking him out.

At least, Izuna hopes that this changes things.

* * *

Indeed, after their mission together, things do change—and for the better. For the most part, it’s Izuna who’ll seek out Hikaku for a spar or for a meal or something, but Hikaku also seeks out Izuna on rare occasions. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern and Izuna doesn’t go looking for one, not really.

Izuna enjoys spending time with Hikaku. It feels comfortable, almost like he’s spending time with his brother. It’s easy, more often than not. Whilst Hikaku leans towards being quiet, he has a sarcastic streak that has made Izuna snort more often than he’d like to admit to.

Hikaku is just… good. It’s hard to describe why Izuna feels that way. Maybe it’s because they're soulmates, but there’s just something about Hikaku that makes Izuna hopeful for the future and believe it won’t all be fighting and blood and death. Sometimes Izuna can’t even connect Hikaku to the lies on his body, it just feels incredibly unreal.

The best thing about Hikaku, Izuna reckons, is the fact that the other is willing to listen to him after hours even if Hikaku’s just pulled a night patrol or if they’ve just sparred and are sweaty and gross. Izuna can talk about anything he wants and Hikaku won’t just sit there and nod—he’ll _listen_. Even Madara gets sick of Izuna’s talking from time to time, but Hikaku just listens and occasionally offers a thought of his own in return.

“He just always seems to come up with new techniques whenever we meet,” Izuna tells Hikaku after one spar that’s left them both exhausted. Izuna had won, as usual, but Hikaku had gotten a good few blows in and Izuna definitely will have to go get his ribs checked out—but that’s later. For now, he can relax in the sunlight with his soulmate and just talk. “Where does he even get the time? He’s Clan Heir! Surely he has better things to do than make new techniques solely to fight me with.”

“Aren’t you often trying to better yourself to fight him in return?” Hikaku says. “You were working on an improved and adapted technique last week. Did you use it yesterday?”

“I did, but it proved useless when he busted out solid clones! They weren’t even water clones or anything! They were just solid clones made of chakra! Who does that?”

“Senju Tobirama apparently,” Hikaku says dryly.

Izuna rolls his eyes. “You think you’re so funny, don’t you? Absolutely hilarious. A real comedian.”

Lying on the grass, Hikaku just raises a shoulder in a shrug. “It’s my backup career.”

Izuna chokes on air, wheezing. It’s the kind of humour that most people won’t get, just those on the frontline who know full well that they’re only ever going to be ninjas and soldiers and nothing else. They don’t get backup careers and they certainly wouldn’t be comedians if they had the choice. “I love you,” Izuna says seriously, wiping tears form his eyes. “You’re the best.”

“You love me,” Hikaku echoes, voice barely above a whisper. It’s enough to catch Izuna’s attention and he turns to look at Hikaku properly. The other’s eyes are wide, shoulders raised, and he looks like he’s trying to make himself small—which Izuna knows he does whenever he’s unsure or uncertain or uncomfortable.

Swallowing, Izuna nods. “Yeah,” he says. “I do.” Maybe it’s only been three or so months since they met and only a month and a half since they’d gone on their first mission together. But it’s enough time to know that Izuna wants to have Hikaku be in his life for the rest of his years. If that isn’t love, what is? Hikaku’s still looking shocked, so Izuna adds, “You don’t have to say it back. It’s not- Things happen at our own pace and you don’t ever have to say it if you don’t want to or you don’t feel that way.”

Hikaku doesn’t meet his gaze, but he doesn’t pull away either which is perhaps more than Izuna had hoped for. After a long, long minute of silence, he simply says, “Thanks.” It makes Izuna want to reach out and wrap the other in a hug, smother him in blankets, and never let him go. But he can’t do that, so he simply stays silent and shuffles over just enough to press his shoulder against Hikaku. For a second, Hikaku is stiff, before he relaxes and presses back, warm.

It’s not much, but it’s more than enough.

* * *

When Izuna gets home, he checks on Madara. It’s late evening now, the sun having set a long time ago. He’d meant to come home for dinner but he knows Madara had been out too, so he hadn’t been too stressed about coming back late. But it had been a good day to spend with Hikaku, the weather warm and the world feeling soft. And…

And he’d told Hikaku he loved him. It hadn’t been planned or anything. Izuna hadn’t really thought about it that much, but that doesn’t make it less sincere. He loves Hikaku—loves Hikaku as Hikaku and also Hikaku as his soulmate. Maybe Hikaku didn’t say the words back, but that’s okay. These things happen at their own pace and even if Hikaku never says ‘I love you’, Izuna will still be happy. The words don’t necessarily make things more real. They might help, but Izuna can see that Hikaku likes him in the way that Hikaku willingly spends time with him, in the way Hikaku listens to him, in the way Hikaku searches for him.

Maybe one day Hikaku will have other ways to show his appreciation and, maybe, one day that will include love. But Izuna doesn’t mind. So long as he’s happy and Hikaku’s happy and his brother’s happy and the clan’s happy, what more could he want?

As he gets changed into sleep clothes, he spots something on his forearm. Narrowing his eyes, he lifts his arm up closer, rubbing at the black on his arm. It’s… characters. A sentence?

His heart pounds as he realises that it’s a soulmate lie. Another one. A fourth one. What could Hikaku have lied to himself about today?

_You love me._

Oh. That’s-

Swallowing, Izuna lowers his arm. That hurts more than he thought it would. It’s- Well.

Izuna’s heart hurts and he’s not sure whether it’s his own emotions or his sadness and Hikaku believing that he’s so difficult to love. Hikaku is worth all the love in the world and Izuna would give it all to him if possible. He thinks about the lie on his skin, the one that says ‘I’m worth’, and how Hikaku doesn’t believe it.

It’s easy to forget that Hikaku doesn’t see himself the way that Izuna sees him, easy to forget how Hikaku doesn’t really see himself in much of a positive light at all.

It hurts to see his love dismissed so easily, but that’s okay. Izuna’s just going to have to convince Hikaku that it’s true. It might take time and work, but Izuna’s going to do it anyway. He loves Hikaku and that will never be a lie.

* * *

It’s a messy battle, Izuna thinks to himself as he surveys the battleground. It hadn’t been against the Senju but another clan, one who’d been making themselves a nuisance recently over farmland and resources. They’d been trying to claim ground that had been under the protection of the Uchiha Clan, and so Izuna had led a large group of fighters out.

The intel they had, however, had been slightly off. There had been an army there, waiting, and ready for the attack. They’d been prepared, dug traps, and Izuna had been forced to change his tactics from an attack that would rout their enemies to an attack that let his clan survive as much as possible. That’s not to say the Uchiha had lost—they had won, in the end, but it had been a hard-won victory.

The battleground has been left full of bodies and craters and, already, birds of prey are swooping down from above, eager. The enemy clan has been completely killed. Not only did the fight demand it, but there had been no other choice unless they’d been willing to fall in line with the Uchiha Clan’s orders.

There is only one bright side here, and it’s that Izuna is far from alone and they’re only a few hours run from home. Already, Hikaku has the clan turning and heading in the direction of the compound. All those capable of running are doing so, and the wounded are being shifted onto stretchers and moved out even faster.

Hikaku turns, catches Izuna’s gaze, and nods. Once more, Izuna sweeps the battleground, but there are no more of his clan laid out on the ground, none struggling to their legs. He raises his voice. “Move out!”

Izuna makes his way to the front of the long procession, only scouts ahead of him ensuring that the way is clear. As Clan Heir and battlefield leader, he is the one who will lead them all home—all of them; the wounded, the dead, the survivors. On some occasions, Izuna’s been known to follow from the back to keep enemies off of them. In this case, however, their enemies are dead and Izuna trusts his fighters to protect them. Worst case scenario, Hikaku is back there and certainly can set enough things on fire to create a signal warning of the approaching danger.

The run back is largely silent. It’s long, but it always is, especially with how slowly they move due to the wounded. Still, they make it back. They make it back and Izuna sees the wounded given to the medics waiting for them, sees the scroll of their dead handed to Madara, sees the way his fighters lean on their family and friends and smile at relief at having come home after this battle.

“Give me the report later,” Madara says to him quietly. “Rest. Relax.”

“Tomorrow,” Izuna says, nodding. “Thank you.” Madara smiles, a tired thing that Izuna feels echoed in his very bones. Then, Madara turns away and Izuna glances around him. And—there, on the edge, watching him, is Hikaku.

The moment Izuna is alone, Hikaku makes his way towards him. It makes Izuna smile, even exhausted down to his bones as he is, because Hikaku waiting for him is something that started almost two months ago. It’s a soft thing, the comedown from a battle and the worrying over wounds, and Hikaku is so gentle. He doesn’t seem very different from his normal, but there’s something else there too that Izuna doesn’t see too often. Only on long evenings, when the world is quiet around them and their thoughts are the loudest things in the world.

When Hikaku reaches him, Izuna doesn’t speak, just lets Hikaku take an extra step so that they’re standing next to one another, close enough that Izuna can lean a little bit of weight on Hikaku if he wished, and the other could do the same in return. Izuna slips an arm around Hikaku’s waist, leans slightly, and places his head on Hikaku’s shoulder just… resting for a moment.

Hikaku places an arm over Izuna’s shoulders, not cautious or anything, and if Izuna was less tired, he’d be excited about that. As it is, he only feels content. “Your house?” He asks Hikaku, who dips his head in a nod, and somewhat leads the way, leaning on each other as they are.

By the time they get to Hikaku’s house, Izuna is feeling uncomfortable beneath his armour and his blood-soaked and stained clothing. It’s heavy, more so because of the memory than the actual weight—the weight Izuna is used to. He’s never quite gotten used to the weight of a battle, though he’s had plenty of time to get used to it, used to the death, but it clings to him and rests heavy on his shoulders.

The house is silent, as it usually is, and Hikaku nudges open the door, before closing it gently behind them. “Can I take your armour off?” Hikaku asks after Izuna’s sat down.

Izuna looks at his soulmate, who looks exhausted but… There’s something in the set of his shoulders, something in the expression of his face, that says he needs to do this. The way he kneels before Izuna hints at something though Izuna can’t quite scramble his brain enough to figure out what it is, exactly. “You can,” he says, voice soft.

As Hikaku rises, he grimaces, just enough for Izuna to spot it. Izuna’s eyes narrow and he scans the other carefully, searching for injuries. Hikaku has little armour, but there’s too much blood to really figure out the injury that’s causing Hikaku the most pain. “You’re injured,” Izuna says, voice even though he definitely doesn’t feel that way.

For a split second, Hikaku is silent, before he tilts his head. “Yes,” he agrees. “But let me do this first, please. I just- I need to see that you’re alright. There was that one hit and-” He cuts himself off with a sharp breath, and Izuna remembers that fight too, where he almost took a sword to the throat and got himself killed. It hadn’t quite connected, but it had been close enough that even Izuna had been worried for a split second. It’s the way of their life—near-death experiences—but that doesn’t make it easier to see someone you know almost die.

“Then I’ll tend to your wounds,” Izuna says, though he knows they should technically go to medics about this. Of course, everyone knows the basics of first aid and most will only go the medics when it’s really needed. Otherwise, ninjas will keep to themselves and deal with their own injuries, keeping their vulnerabilities and weaknesses to themselves. They might all be clan and therefore family, but Izuna understands the sentiment.

“If you want,” Hikaku agrees easily enough, willing to share his own weaknesses and injuries with Izuna. It doesn’t seem like the other is just doing it because Izuna is either. Their relationship is equal, though Izuna may be Clan Heir and therefore in a higher position than Hikaku, but that doesn’t change the fact Hikaku will do what he wants. That much, Izuna already knows. The only way he could properly keep Hikaku from doing something he wants to, Izuna reckons, would be by ordering Hikaku as his soulmate or as his Clan Heir. He has a feeling Hikaku would respond to both, though it might break his trust if they did so. And Izuna would never do that, not unless he had no other choice.

Hikaku’s fingers are careful as he undoes buckles. The armour is carefully put aside on the floor; the pile growing. Izuna rolls his shoulders and stretches as the armour comes off. It feels good and relaxing, like the entire battle has been removed from him. It’s not and the blood that covers both his skin and his clothing points to that, but still.

After grimacing at his shirt and the way it’s dried weirdly where the blood sits, Izuna glances up to check on Hikaku. However, Hikaku is no longer in the room, and he’s about to get up just as Hikaku re-enters the room, this time with a small bucket of water, a towel, and what looks to be a spare set of clothes. Though he wants to deal with Hikaku’s injuries, Izuna is all too happy to strip off his top and pants and exchange them for the clean clothes that Hikaku has brought.

However, before he can do that, Hikaku is beside him with a wet towel and begins wiping the blood from his skin, brows faintly furrowed. He half pauses when he swipes the towel across skin and reveals a soulmate-lie, and Izuna’s heart beats in his throat, but then Hikaku continues moving.

“Hey,” Izuna says, catching one of Hikaku’s hands. Hikaku doesn’t look up at him, just keeps holding the towel where he’s trying to wipe more blood off of Izuna’s skin. “I’m okay. Really. Let me get changed, yeah? Then I’ll look over your injuries.”

For a heartbeat, Hikaku doesn’t move, then he nods. “Alright,” he says softly, drawing back. “You don’t need any first aid?”

Izuna shakes his head. “Bruises and scratches but nothing requiring stitches or bandages. I’m okay.” A shaky breath leaves Hikaku’s lips, and then he steps back, meeting Izuna’s eyes evenly. Whatever he wants to see, he seems to see it, and finally lets Izuna be.

Picking up the clothes, Izuna changes quickly, uncaring for his state of undress. This is Hikaku, after all. They’re soulmates and, more importantly, they’re ninjas. Why should they care? The pants are slightly too long and the top doesn’t fit perfectly, but since it’s Hikaku’s clothing that makes sense. They’re clean which is the main thing.

“Can I?” Izuna says, gesturing at Hikaku’s armour.

Hikaku nods, standing still, and Izuna begins with the simple chest plate. It’s a plain thing and of Uchiha make, but not as great quality as Izuna’s armour. It’s dented and scratched to hell, a rusty blood colour more than the steel colour it should be, but it’s clearly functional, and Izuna lowers it to the floor, taking care so that it doesn’t clatter. There’s something about right now that feels fragile, though maybe that’s just the exhaustion talking.

The next thing Izuna does is carefully unwrap the bandages around Hikaku’s arms that add a layer of protection. It’s easy to do, almost mindless, but Izuna takes care to do it carefully, aware that there could be injuries underneath. However, he only comes across bruises that are days-old and Hikaku remains still throughout it all.

Whilst Izuna doesn’t try to read the soulmate-lies littered across Hikaku’s skin, he can’t help it. Some of them jump out at him things like ‘She’ll be okay’ and ‘I’m fine’ and ‘I didn’t steal the taiyaki’, which makes a huff of laughter leave Izuna’s lips. When he glances at Hikaku’s face, he’s pleased to see a small smile on the other’s face too.

“Top off?”

Hikaku does as asked, wincing as he does. The reason becomes clear the moment Izuna can see the other’s torso. There’s an awful bruise on his sternum in the shape of a foot, but there’s also a cut that’s still oozing blood sluggishly on his side. “Shit,” Izuna hisses, picking up the towel and trying to remove some of the dried blood from around the injury. At the movement, the injury begins to bleed more fiercely which hadn’t been the aim. It does, though, let Izuna see how deep the wound is. “This’ll need stitches,” he tells Hikaku. “You should’ve said something earlier.”

The other is tense, likely because the injury hurts, but he still manages a shrug. “It was… less important,” Hikaku says. “I needed…” He trails off, lips twisting. Izuna waits him out even as he pulls items out of the first aid kit. The fact that the wound’s still bleeding leads Izuna to grab the needle and thread it, preparing to stitch the cut up. “I needed to make sure you were alright first,” Hikaku eventually says. “Which I know isn’t smart or whatever, but I _needed_ to know.”

Izuna doesn’t understand it. It’s pointless to try to check on someone else when you’re bleeding out. “And what would have happened if you keeled over while checking on me?” He says. He doesn’t ask if Hikaku wants painkillers, he knows what the other will say, and simply puts a numbing cream over the area and begins stitching the cut closed.

“I wouldn’t drop until I knew you were okay,” Hikaku says stubbornly and Izuna rolls his eyes.

“You would have if you’d lost enough blood,” he retorts, but at the same time he gets where Hikaku is coming from. Some people will do whatever it takes to complete one task before falling over, will make it home before dying. If Hikaku needed to see that Izuna was okay first, well, Izuna won’t be happy about it but at least it’s over and done with now. Nothing more that can be done.

It takes fifteen stitches in the end, during which Hikaku is silent and still and doesn’t move a muscle. When it’s over, Izuna runs the wet towel and removes the blood, laying down a bandage over the top. Before he moves on, however, he catches sight of his brother’s name. He can’t help but pause, reading over the soulmate-lie on Hikaku’s stomach.

For a second, it doesn’t hit and then Izuna realises what this means. It’s not just Madara’s name written on Hikaku’s body, but also his relationship to Izuna as his brother. That meant that Hikaku _knew_ who his soulmate was—has known for years! That’s-

“How long have you known?” Izuna says, standing, and meeting Hikaku’s gaze. He almost doesn’t recognise his voice. It’s hard and cold and doesn’t show a single bit of the hurt that Izuna is feeling. It feels like it’s hurting to breathe even though Izuna knows he’s not injured. Not physically, at least.

Hikaku doesn’t respond, and Izuna straightens that bit more. He’s not as tall as Hikaku, but beneath his angry gaze, the other shrinks slightly. “How long have you known?” The words lash out between them, hard and angry, and Izuna _does not care!_

“I-” Hikaku swallows. Then, tone somehow even, says, “About three years before we met.”

“Three years,” Izuna echoes. He steps away from Hikaku, away from his soulmate, and says, low and fierce, “I _hate_ you.” Hikaku flinches and, awful as it is, Izuna is glad because he’s bitter and hurting and he’s glad he can hurt Hikaku too. “You made a choice three years ago and it wasn’t me. This has all been a farce since.”

“No, I didn’t-” Hikaku reaches out, hands coming towards Izuna, and Izuna knocks them away and takes another step back, shaking his head.

“You knew what you were doing,” he said. “Fuck you. This isn’t-” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to see you right now.”

Hikaku’s body trembles, a fine thing that Izuna only spots with his Sharingan activated and whirling. Then it stops and Hikaku’s face becomes expressionless. The other drops his gaze and steps back. Doesn’t move even as Izuna strides away, leaves the house behind, and heads back home.

When he gets home, Madara is there. Madara is there and confused but he’s Izuna’s brother and so when Izuna breaks down and cries, he simply pulls the other into a hug and hushes him. Safe and with someone who actually loves him, Izuna cries and does his best to not think of Hikaku.

* * *

The morning after, when Izuna changes, he finds a new soulmate-lie on his skin. ‘It hurts less now’.

“You don’t get to do this to me,” Izuna says, hurting and aching, and he feels tears pressing at his eyes once again. “You don’t- That’s not _fair_. I’m not- This isn’t my fault!”

He wraps a bandage around the soulmate-lie, and then around whatever other soulmate-lies he can too. He’s not sure whether he wishes he’d never met Hikaku or whether he’s glad to have gone through everything, even if it now hurts like he’s walking on hot coals.

Closing his eyes, Izuna tips his head back and breathes out slowly. He’s not going to go back to Hikaku, not like he’s some civilian crawling back and apologising. Firstly, Izuna’s not the one in the wrong here. Secondly, Izuna’s hurting and it shouldn’t be on him to always fix things and try to reach out a helping hand. There’s two of them in this relationship.

Or there had been. Izuna’s not exactly sure what’s going to happen now. He’s not going to fix their relationship and he’s not certain whether Hikaku will want to stick around either—he’s not sure why Hikaku came to him in the first place, if he’s known for so long. It’s clear that Hikaku’s been avoiding him.

“You alright?” Madara asks quietly, pausing when he sees Izuna.

Izuna breathes in and then breathes out slowly. “No,” he says firmly. “But I’m going to get there.”

Smiling, Madara ruffles Izuna’s hair. In response, Izuna shoves his brother’s hand about and whines as he tries to fix his hair. He knows, though Madara doesn’t say it, that his brother is proud of him. While Madara has many faults, Izuna’s never questioned that his brother loves him. They’ve had their arguments and their fights and their fallouts, but Izuna loves his brother and Madara loves him too. That’s never been something to doubt.

“You will,” Madara agrees. “Because you’re the strongest person I know.”

And, well, Izuna’s hurting and sad and if he throws himself at Madara to hug his brother, that’s between him and Madara and no one else.

* * *

In two weeks, Izuna doesn’t see hide or hair of Hikaku. He’s not sure whether it’s because the other is avoiding him or if it’s thanks to his brother. Technically, he should’ve seen Hikaku since the other is the third-in-command, and Izuna hasn’t heard that the other has given up their position or anything.

On the fifteenth day, however, that streak is broken. Madara is out on patrol when there’s a knock on the door. Assuming it to be one of his clanmates with a question or in need of help, Izuna opens the door with a smile. The smile quickly drops from his face when he sees Hikaku there.

“If you want me to go, I’ll go,” Hikaku says quickly. “If you don’t want to see me ever again, which is your right, I’ll go. If you want, I’ll give up my position or deal only with Madara and others. If you say the word, I can go. But. You deserve an explanation. And you deserve better.”

“Damn right, I do,” Izuna says, heart pounding. It aches in his chest, like he’s been stabbed and someone twisted the blade. It hurts just looking at Hikaku, but he can’t look away somehow. “And I’m not going to hamstring the clan like that. I might not like you but I can deal with you.”

Hikaku flinches. “I deserved that,” he says. “Do you want me to-”

“Speak,” Izuna snarls. He’s getting tired of this conversation, tired and hurting and he wants his brother and he wants Hikaku gone and he wants to tug Hikaku into his arms and never let the other go. It makes no sense and it’s stupid and Hikaku is here and Hikaku doesn’t want him.

“I’m sorry,” Hikaku blurts out. “I’m sorry for not coming to you earlier and not telling you I knew you were my soulmate. I’m sorry for not being good enough for you and I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not good enough,” Izuna says, gripping to his composure by his fingernails. It hurts to deny Hikaku’s apologies, but it’s _not_ enough. Izuna deserves better and-

And Hikaku might be his soulmate but soulmates don’t always work. Izuna had thought he knew that going in, but maybe he didn’t.

“It’s not,” Hikaku says, quick to agree. “And I cannot say sorry enough and I’d- I’d do anything if you wanted me too but that’s not fair to you. And. And I didn’t come to you earlier because I was scared and I wasn’t good enough, and clearly I’m still not, but-”

“Just. Stop,” Izuna says, and he feels so tired. “For once, don’t self-depreciate yourself. I’m tired of it. Get to your point and stop,” he waves his hand, “all of this.”

“Sorry,” Hikaku says quietly and Izuna feels bad even as his anger keeps burning in his stomach like a fire that will never go out. “I didn’t come to you because I was scared,” he reiterates. “And then I didn’t tell you because it didn’t seem important. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you and I understand if you want me out of your life. I fucked up and I can’t change that that happened and I can only be better in the future. But I still hurt you and I’m really, really sorry that this happened but I’m so fucking glad we got to have this too. It was… It was good.”

Hikaku falls silent and doesn’t speak, just stares at Izuna’s face. Then he nods, more to himself than Izuna, and turns away without another word. And.

 _Fuck_.

Izuna doesn’t know what he wants. He’s been missing Hikaku but then Hikaku hurt him and it’s so easy to see that Hikaku’s in pain too and Izuna knows, even without looking, that there’s no lie forming on his skin. Hikaku is honest and truthful whenever he can be—there’s a reason that Izuna only has a few soulmate-lies.

Yet, he watches Hikaku walk away because he’s not sure and because he still hurts and an apology isn’t enough. He knows he’s not giving Hikaku a chance to prove himself better, to apologise with actions and not just words, but he also doesn’t know what to do. He feels adrift.

He retreats back inside and waits for Madara to come home.

* * *

“What do you think about Hikaku?” Izuna asks his brother the moment he gets home. “Not like. Not what you think about our relationship, but him as a person.”

By now, Izuna has checked his skin and found no new soulmate-lies marking his skin, which he isn’t surprised about. But looking at the soulmate-lies he _does_ have, he’s reminded of how Hikaku sees himself.

“It’s hard to think about him without considering you and what he did to you,” Madara says, a scowl on his face. “But… He’s got a way of making himself seem small as I’m sure you’ve noticed. I don’t know why or anything or whether it’s just him in general. He knows he’s a good fighter, but he doubts his skills in comparison to anyone else. He can’t outrun the soulmate-lies covering his skin and he doesn’t ever try to either. He just accepts it as his lot. I’m not sure what that means or how to take it, but yeah. I think… I hate him for what he did to you, but I can’t help but think he’s a good person outside of that.”

Izuna breathes out slowly. “Yeah,” he says. And then he proceeds to tell Madara about everything Hikaku had said, coming to their door earlier that day, and also what soulmate-lies adorns his own body. Madara dislikes soulmates, but this isn’t exactly about soulmates—it’s about choices and relationships and whether Izuna should try to work with Hikaku to repair theirs.

“So?” He says at last, having spoken until he had nothing more to say. “What do you think?”

“I think this is your decision,” Madara says. “And I also think that I want to burn Hikaku down to ash for hurting you and also wrap him up in a blanket and make sure he’s never hurt again.”

Izuna laughs and the sound is bitter. “Yeah,” he says, “I get that. But what do I do?”

“No one can make this decision but you,” Madara says unhelpfully though Izuna knows it to be true. “But… You were happy with Hikaku, especially as he opened up. And I think Hikaku’s been alone a long time. That shouldn’t change your decision, but maybe he has more to say beyond apologises.”

Izuna groans. “Why can I just like read people’s minds? That would make things so much easier.”

“I think it’s important that this isn’t easy. It’s better that this is hard and you work for it. It makes it worth more, doesn’t it?”

“Go away,” Izuna says, waving his hand. “You’re saying shit like you’re some scholar. Get out of here with your fancy thoughts.”

“It’s called thinking. You should try it sometime,” Madara says teasingly. “And think about it, yeah? Decide for yourself. If you need the time, take it.”

In the end, Izuna doesn’t really need to think about it, not really. He smiles. “I’ve taken the time, haven’t I? And you already know my decision.”

“To be fair, you _were_ pretty damn obvious.”

Izuna sighs. “Yeah, I probably was. I’ll catch you later.”

* * *

After knocking on Hikaku’s door, he waits for the other to open it. However, when two minutes have passed without Hikaku appearing, Izuna considers the notion that Hikaku is not currently home. There are only a few other places that Hikaku could go and the closest one is the training ground, so Izuna heads there, dashing across roof-tops.

He pauses on the edge of the training ground and watches Hikaku speed through kata after kata, seemingly unaware of anything around him. There’s a tremble going through his limbs, exhaustion Izuna guesses, and it makes him unreasonable mad to see Hikaku treating himself like this even though Izuna’s done the same thing before.

“Oi! What are you training yourself to exhaustion for? If you care about me the slightest amount, the least you could do is look after yourself.”

Hikaku whirls around and Izuna is treated to a glimpse of spinning Mangekyō Sharingan eyes, before he catches sight of Hikaku’s grieving expression. It had, perhaps, been the wrong thing to say and the teasing tone hasn’t gone over well. With a strangled voice, Hikaku says, “Not all my mistakes are in relation to you.”

“You’re more than just our relationship,” Izuna agrees. “And I’m sorry, that was perhaps out of line.”

The line of Hikaku’s shoulders is tense, even as his body continues to tremble. He lowers his arms, though, falls out of the battle-ready stance. “I am too,” he says. “You couldn’t have known and it’s fair, considering my past actions.”

“Who were they?” Izuna asks in a gesture of peace.

“My first squad,” Hikaku says. “Three of them plus me. It was my first time as second-in-command when our team leader died and I suddenly found myself in charge. I led them into a minefield and by the time we got out, it was down to just two of us. We hit the battle then and it was less a flanking manoeuvre and more an almost-killed-us manoeuvre. I lost my last squad mate pretty quickly. They were a year and a bit older than me. The one I lost in the minefield was two years younger.”

“That’s not your fault,” Izuna says. “You couldn’t have been prepared for that. You had no way of knowing.”

Hikaku shrugs. “I should’ve avoided the minefield and I should’ve protected my last squad-mate. It doesn’t matter, not really. I learnt since then.” Then he pauses, glancing over at Izuna. “But I don’t think you came here to discuss my latest relived nightmare, did you?”

“No,” Izuna says, folding his arms. “Can you tell me why you didn’t come to me years ago? What were you scared of? And why didn’t you tell me you knew we were soulmates? I get that you were scared or whatever.”

“You were Clan Heir and I was no one,” Hikaku says. “The Clan Head at the time would certainly have seen it that way. And I didn’t feel comfortable enough to approach either.” Izuna grudgingly admits to himself that that makes sense, though he’s not entirely happy about it. “As for why I didn’t mention it… To me, it didn’t matter. Maybe we were soulmates but that doesn’t make anything destiny or fate or whatever. You likely know the stories just as well as I do—soulmates aren’t promises of anything. It’s a choice and I didn’t want to build our relationship on our status as soulmates. Maybe it pointed us in the right direction or maybe it would’ve happened anyway, but this was _our_ choice.”

Hikaku shrugs. “I forgot that people see things differently, however. And it’s my own fault for not speaking up and not saying anything. I’ll be better from now on.”

“And I could’ve stood to listen a bit more,” Izuna says. He considers everything that’s been said, both now and weeks prior. “You know I don’t hate you right?” He remembers Hikaku’s flinch and his own bitter anger and his happiness at making Hikaku hurt. It occurs to him now that Hikaku might not have realised that it was a lie. “I meant what I said months ago—I love you. I was hurt and lashing out.”

A bitter smile crosses Hikaku’s face. “You could lie and I wouldn’t know. There are too many lies now to really notice a new one appearing.”

That… Izuna hadn’t considered that. He hadn’t thought about the soulmate-lies that Hikaku wears like a second skin. It makes sense that Hikaku wouldn’t notice a new one appearing, not like Izuna who notices immediately. Which means that Hikaku will never know whether Izuna’s lying or telling the truth unless Izuna tells him.

“I lied,” he says. “I lied then. I didn’t- I was hurt and you hurt me and I wanted you to be in pain too.”

Hikaku breathes out slowly, shoulders straightening. He steps forward, closer to Izuna. “And here’s something I should’ve said a while back too—I care for you. And. And that means things are going to hurt and I’m not perfect and you’re not either and this is all going to be hard. But I… I care for you and I want to try.”

He doesn’t say the word love, and Izuna doesn’t mind that. After all, love doesn’t fix things. It doesn’t make things perfect and it doesn’t always help. But Izuna’s willing to try and he wants this enough to work for it, work on it. “I’d like to try too,” he tells Hikaku. “I’ve missed you these past weeks.”

Surging forward, Hikaku wraps Izuna in his arms. It’s perhaps the first time that Hikaku has really initiated a hug. It’s warm and Izuna sinks into it, Hikaku resting his chin on Izuna’s head. “I’ve missed you too,” he whispers. “And I’m sorry. I’ll be better.”

“I’ll be better too,” Izuna says. “And I’m going to try and talk more and communicate and you’re going to do the same, okay? I can’t just guess at your needs; I need you to talk to me. Both what you want and what you need and your problems and just everything you want to tell me, okay?”

“Okay,” Hikaku says quietly. “And you’ll do the same?”

“Yes,” Izuna says with a squeeze. “I’ll do the same.” It might not be perfect, but it’s the start of something and things will get better. Izuna won’t let anything else happen, and he has a feeling that Hikaku won’t either. And, if something does happen, this time they won’t let it divide them.

* * *

Hikaku stands at the edge of the Uchiha Clan Compound. He’s not on patrol or anything. In fact, there’s no reason for him to be here. But…

A shiver wrecks his frame and Hikaku can’t help but smile, even as goosebumps rise from the chill as the shadows extend and the sun sinks below the horizon somewhere out of sight. A blanket is dropped over his shoulders, and Hikaku clasps it to his chest even as he spins around to see Izuna.

“Izuna,” he says, grinning, hardly able to help it. It feels like the perfect evening. Maybe it’s cold and the trees are dark and unfriendly and the war goes on. But the stars are out and Hikaku feels so light and he just wants to share his joy with the world. He ties the blanket around his shoulders so it falls like a cape. “Hey.”

Izuna’s eyes are soft, his expression doubly so. He steps forward, a gentle smile on his face, and Hikaku steps into the hug easily. Wrapping his arms around Izuna and resting his cheek on Izuna’s hair. “Hey,” Izuna says back, the smile clear in his voice. “Any reason in particular you called me here? I’m assuming it wasn’t to die of the cold.”

Stepping back, Hikaku spins, laughing. The blanket flares around him and it makes no sense but Hikaku doesn’t care. “Yeah,” he says. “And you’re only cold because you grabbed me a blanket rather than grabbing one yourself. But that’s okay. We can share.”

“Share?” Izuna echoes, one eyebrow raising. “Why am I here?”

“Because we’re alive,” Hikaku says, unable to explain why he’s so happy and so excited and why everything is so good today. “Come on!” He reaches out and Izuna willingly grabs his hand.

Feeling like a child, Hikaku can’t help but laugh as he tugs Izuna forward. They don’t leave the compound, staying within the boundaries, but Hikaku leads Izuna further away from the houses and training grounds. In this direction, there’s only the lake that makes up much of their fresh water. Izuna doesn’t ask any questions, just follows Hikaku, a smile on his own face.

Overhead, the streaks of colour in the sky begin to fade, a dark blue taking over. The moon glows dimly above, clouds haloing it with a circle of light. It’s beautiful and neither Hikaku nor Izuna pay any attention to it. Why should they? There’s something much better in their immediate sight—each other.

When they reach the lake, Hikaku finally slows. He doesn’t drop Izuna’s hand, just comes to a halt and gently bumps his shoulder against Izuna’s. Izuna doesn’t look at him, not immediately. Instead, he focusses on what lies in front of him.

The lake is the same as it always is. The ground slope/s gently towards it, green grasses long and plentiful. Water laps at the dirt banks, soft and soothing. For the most part, though, the lake is still; a perfect reflection of the sky above. It’s a dark blue, near the colour of black, and is littered with pinpoint pricks of light that shatter the darkness.

It’s beautiful. Divine. It steals Izuna’s breath and leaves him stuttering. He feels so small, with how vast the lake and the sky are, with how distant the stars are, with how spectacular the sight is. He’s never seen anything like it. “It’s gorgeous,” Izuna finally manages to say, the words leaving him as a whisper. He doesn’t think he could speak any louder. To do so would break the beauty of this place, like humanity could ruin it with a spoken word. It almost makes him feel heavy, like there’s pressure on his shoulders to keep this silence, like it has to remain.

“It is,” Hikaku agrees, and now Izuna turns to look at him. And Hikaku looks steady, looks happy, cheeks flushed and a smile on his face. “But you know what? So are you.” For a moment, Izuna’s breath catches but he knows this isn’t Hikaku flirting or anything; this is just Hikaku trying to say his thoughts in the best way possible. “Your eyes when you fight, when you laugh, when you smile. Your voice when you’ve made your throat raspy from overusing your fire jutsu, when you laugh too hard and you can’t talk anymore, when you complain endlessly for hours. Kami, I just-”

Breathing in, Hikaku lets it rush out of him, sudden and abrupt. “I’m in love,” Hikaku says, voice loud and breaking the silence. It makes Izuna’s heart pound in his ears and his breath leaves him without warning. It’s like he’s been winded but there had been no physical blow. Hikaku smiles, something softer than what had previously been there. His eyes are soft and kind and so, so loving.

“I’m in love,” he repeats, sincere and with a weight to his words that Izuna feels like he can barely grasp. “I’m so far in love I can’t imagine anything else. I just- Izuna, I’m in love. Not—Not romantically or some shit. I’m in love with you and- and it’s been hard. It’s been tough and I’ve made mistakes and so have you and maybe we’ll make some more. And we’ll make them together and fall apart and fall together and-

“Without you in my life, I would be a different person. I don’t know who I’d be and I can’t imagine being that Hikaku and I don’t care—I love who I am. I love living and I love living with _you_ in my life. I can’t imagine a future where you’re not there. You’re in my heart and my soul and my mind—and you’re always there! I love you. I love you so much and I’d do anything you’d ask and I feel like _I_ could ask you anything and.”

A shaky breath leaves Hikaku’s lips and he leans forward. Izuna swallows and lets himself be drawn into a hug. This time Hikaku doesn’t rest his chin on the top of his head or anything. Instead, the other Uchiha presses their foreheads together. “I love you,” he says. “And I’ve loved you a long time and I’m going to love you for the rest of my life no matter what happens. And I just want you to know that. Know that I love you.”

“I’ve always known that,” Izuna says. “You show it in your actions. Just because you didn’t say it, that didn’t mean I hadn’t seen it. This isn’t- Our relationship isn’t founded in love or the fact we’re soulmates. We chose this Hikaku. For ourselves and maybe it was because we were soulmates, but that’s not all we are. I love you. I always will.”

Hikaku laughs, drawing back. He looks so happy and Izuna can’t help but smile back, helpless to do otherwise. “I’m sorry it took me this long to get here,” Hikaku says, still smiling.

“I’m not,” Izuna says. “This is our relationship and we choose the pace of it and- and it’s worked out. It’s worked out so well and I’m never going to regret that. Maybe I’ll regret the pain we went through and that I never tried to seek you out. But I’m never going to regret what we have now. Some day we might fall apart or fall distant or one of us might die—and that’s awful. But what we have right now is something to treasure. It always is. It always will be.”

“I’m in love,” Hikaku says. “In love with you.”

“And I’m in love with you too,” Izuna says, and then Hikaku has grabbed his hand, grip fierce and strong and refusing to let go, and Izuna runs with him into the shallows of the lake, heedless of the freezing water that makes them shiver and shake. They’re warm, they’re on fire, they’re in love.

And they’ll never be anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to [Good_Grief](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Good_Grief/pseuds/Good_Grief) for providing me with the prompt about soulmates. I slightly changed it to work well for this. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the angst, it was the primary aim here and I totally had a time writing it. 
> 
> Hikaku's characterisation is so iffy, but whatever. You can't really judge me considering most of the stuff we know is fanon-based. Also, they're all young here and Hikaku's very uncertain when it comes to his leaders, and then there's the whole aspect of them being his soulmate's family and his soulmate as well. It's also fanon that Izuna/Madara are cousins with Hikaku. There's nothing certain about that. They could just call each other cousins because it's easier than anything else (e.g. fourth-removed cousin from their mother-in-law or something funky), so I've gone the route where they didn't know Hikaku prior to taking command of the clan and Hikaku stepping up. 
> 
> Let's normalise not saying 'I love you' straight away. Like. Relationships move at different paces and also you might not be willing to say it while the other person does and that's fine!! A relationship is founded in choices and decisions. Love is a choice and it's not something that should be rushed. Besides, there are so many other ways to say I love you that don't require words. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed the angst in this. The part where Izuna says 'I hate you' and whatever and Hikaku reaches out? Likely one of the first times Hikaku actively reached out and Izuna refused it which is bound to hurt. 
> 
> The last scene was so good. I actually wrote it just as I was kinda coming out of the mental funk that wanted me to write angst which was rather perfectly time. There is also so much power in a platonic love confession. I unashamedly will admit to stealing the idea from Loveless by Alice Oseman which is a beautiful read and I really recommend it. 
> 
> So. I hope you enjoyed the potentially only soulmate fic I ever do. For a number of reasons, I somewhat hate the soulmate trope. That said, there's a chance that I can maybe be convinced to write Madara's POV for this. Possibly. We will see. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you all had a fabulous day! Feel free to find me over on [tumblr](https://silent-silver-slip.tumblr.com/) if you want. Otherwise, I'll respond to comments pretty soon as well.


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